Friday, July 16, 2004

That Sandy....

My mother is a very entertaining woman. I can't say that she'd be able to open in Vegas or Branson, but she's always been a funny person to me.

The tricky thing about her is that I don't think she means to be entertaining half of the time. She's just telling a story that isn't all meant to be a joke in any way, but she'll say a few key things that always make me laugh. It's one thing to plan to make people laugh, but it's another when you're laughing at someone because of a specific quality they have.

Mom has worked in the insurance industry for quite a while now. She's found her own niche in the industry and has worked in claims departments for various companies over the last 20 years, and up until recently she worked where I am currently employed. I mention this because I was finally able to verify a few things that I wasn't quite sure about from her previous stories when I started working with her.

As long as I could remember, there were always people that she had issues working with. Know how I could tell? When she would talk about a friend, it was Cheryl or Debbie. When she was talking about someone that she didn't like, it was "That" Sue, or "That" Cindy.

I guess she went with "that" instead of calling them by other things like, "I can't stand Smelly Bitch Carol." I guess she just thinks she's being nicer this way.

One of the more entertaining things about these women is the fact that they seem to keep following her around. Every place she's ever worked at has a few "that" women, so I had to begin to wonder if it's actually those people that have the issues, or if my mom is a problem child. It's either that or there is one person that has the ability to take the form of other women and go completely bitch cakes whenever she's around. Both are possible, the former is more likely; the latter is a more entertaining thought. (I bet that polymorph lady has some sort of evil lair, with a flock of dastardly monkeys. That would be cool.)

I even saw the evolution of one of these people at my workplace. One month she was a friend of my mom's, having lunch with her just about every day, and then BAM! Out came the "that" title.

I think a good part of it has to do with cliques. Each workplace seems to have them and it seems as though my mother falls into one, finds that it's not for her and then those people become her mortal enemies. It's a lot like the beginning of Harry Potter, Draco wants to be Harry's friend at first, but Harry sees the person that he really is and they become enemies.

So, I guess my mother is a bit like Harry Potter, except that he's fictional, and a young boy, and I bet she'd really suck at Quidditch.


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