Nothing beats a good snort

I've been at this for a few weeks now and I'm really enjoying the fact that I can convey my thoughts via the written word to my friends. Before this, I had to do it either through speech (which frankly, I fail quite miserably at from time to time) or via telepathy. The first one worked every once in a while, the second just gave me and the cats quite a few headaches (sorry Vandelay.)

When I started writing this, I did get some good feedback from people. Comments ranging from "Glen, you don't entirely suck," to "Glen, go take a shower." Each of those statements may or may not have come from voices in my head, or from actual people. It really didn't matter which, I just took the shower. I felt it was for the best.

Throughout my life I've found a few things to be true. At the top of my own personal list is the fact that I enjoy making people laugh. (another life truth is found in an equation later) Getting people to smile, chuckle, or even snort at something I've done or said fills me with such a sense of satisfaction, that I can't even begin to describe how good it makes me feel. So, I guess it makes a lot of sense that I'm now writing stories that allow me to make fun of myself so that I can get a chuckle out of a few of you.

For every funny thing that I think I've done or said, I've usually had about 10 to 20 ideas that go through my head around that same time that are rejected for the following reasons.

1. They would be too offensive for the populace. If I was being paid to be entertaining, I might throw a few more "poop jokes" out there, but since I'm usually just doing it to try to keep you and a few other key people entertained for free, I'll try to keep the crap flinging inside my head.

2. No one would understand it. Recently I had, what I considered, to be one of the funniest conversations with one of my friends. The whole conversation was about us trying to explain who Rob Dibble was to a group of people that had never followed sports, nor would they have ever been interested in knowing who Rob Dibble was in the first place. We knew that they didn't care, but we still went on with it, because we knew it was funny. I try not to subject people to these situations all that often, but damnit Brandon just brings that stuff out of me.

3. It would make Sarah mad. Sadly, there are jokes that fall into this group. Slowly, I'm getting Sarah to understand the fact that she's just not as funny as me. It's a tough job, but someone has to take one for the team and explain the following equation to her.

Monkeys + Underpants = Funny

Once she gets that, we'll all be on the same page.