Thursday, September 09, 2004

Full of pluck

As the days go by and I start to become older, I've begun to find out a few things about myself and marriage that people hadn't made me aware of.

For example, I noticed my first ear hairs the other day. Ear hairs, I tell you. Never once in my entire life did I think I would ever have to worry about things such as that. I'm not an exceptionally hairy man. In fact, if you could see my constantly-accelerating-backward hairline, you would think that hair GAIN could not possibly be an issue for me, but I digress.

Add this to the rapidly increasing amount of back hairs that seem to keep popping up in places that could not possibly be more absurd, as they are absolutely impossible to reach, and I believe that I'm starting to become some sort of twisted visage of Sy Sperlings hair growth fantasies.

Back to the ear hair. (There's a sentence that I thought I would never write.) So, Sarah points out the fact that I have a few hairs sprouting out from the inside of my ear. I nearly wept. So, she starts looking around my bathroom (in our temporary apartment, I have my own) for a pair of tweezers, so she may rid me of this new and bothersome folicle infection. When she can't find the pair of tweezers that I had for occasions such as this one, she went into her bathroom and found another set that I could use. I, quite painfully, removed said hairs and then motioned to give back the hair-pullers back to her.

"Oh, no. I don't want those back now." she exclaimed.

This coming from a woman that deals with the blood and feces with her nursing patients all day long. Tweezers that did not come into contact with anything that I would determine to be particularly disgusting in any way, are now so totally repulsive that she cannot possibly think of using them again.

"Why?" I so cleverly quipped back to her.

There wasn't an actual audible response to that question, just a look that made me sheepishly take the tweezers and put them into one of my drawers.

So, the question becomes this. What do women do with tweezers that they can't use them after they've touched their husbands ear hair? I'll leave it up to you to try and come up with an answer to that question that makes sense.


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