Petrified

You should all be afraid. Be very afraid. I've made my first excursion into Karaoke.

Not that my wife ever lets anyone hear it, but I believe that she has a wonderful singing voice. I've only gotten a chance to hear her use it on probably 5 occasions throughout all of the time that I've known her (Outside of hearing her sing the national anthem or "Varsity" at a Badger game.) So, I became convinced that I should try to find a way for her to be able to sing with no one else around.

Recently Sony has made available a game called Karaoke Revolution for the Playstation 2. I thought that this could be one of the best ways for her to be able to sing without anyone else being around to bother her and she would be able to relax and just enjoy it. Of course, when I got the software I had to test things out to "make sure they were working." Thus began my illustrious singing career.

I should let you know that I've never been someone who could sing. The only song that I can ever pull off with any sort of regularity is "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground. That's not a song that most people would claim to be able to sing, but I NAIL it every time. I've got Humpty down cold. It's a blessing (for me) and a curse (for everyone else).

Anywho, I tried to do some singing when I was in school, but I started to pick up on the fact that I wasn't going to be a good at it when I found myself being pushed further and further back in the choir room, so that the instructor would find it harder and harder to hear me. I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the fact that I'm mono-tonotic (Aren't made up words fun?)

I believe that most people actually think that they can carry a tune though. Which is kind of sad. We all sit in the car and sing along to our favorite new tune and through the magic of volume and the talents of the actual artists, we are able to mask the fact that we sound incredibly bad when we try and belt out a tune.

One thing I found when I tried to sing is that every song that I attempted was a caricature of someone else doing that song. When Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On" was playing, I found myself pretending to be Jack Black singing his version from the film High Fidelity. When Sinatra's "Under My Skin" was selected, I found myself doing a poor man's impression of Joe Piscapo doing Frank Sinatra.

Sadly, I've found that I have no voice of my own.

I guess this is no surprise to me, as the only other song that I can sing is that of my impression of Kirk Van Houten singing "Can I Borrow a Feeling."

So, if you ever see a Digital Underground cover band, give me a wave and try not to ask me to sing "Free Bird." Let me stick with what I do best, or well, or not very well, or... well you get the point.