Friday, July 30, 2004

My dad thought of it while shaving (Part 2)

I managed to get through high school without picking up another name as Glenster seemed to suffice for most people when they needed to call upon me, but didn't want to go through the simple effort of actually calling me by my given name. It's a funny moment when you lothe someone for their lack of creativity, but have to happy about the fact that they didn't decide to call you "assnugget" instead.

Eventually I got a job working for a retail store after I dropped out of college and almost instantly noticed that nearly everyone that worked there had a nickname. But instead of trying to give people a reason to give me a name, I went out and tried to give names to some of the "nickless."

This experiment began and ended with one person. There was a guy, named Greg, that worked in the customer service department, and I wasn't good friends with him by any means, but I decided his nickname should be "Superguy." I had no reason for calling him this, as I mentioned, I wasn't even really friends with him. He had never done anything super, as far as I was concerned, but I got it in my head that it was the right name for him and I would do my best to make sure that it stuck. The whole effort became a spectacular failure. Everytime I saw him, I would say or yell out, "Hey there, SUPERGUY!" The problem with using that strategy is the simple fact that YOU had to say the name so many times in an attempt to give it to that person, that before too long, people would be more inclined to associated it to you. Before too long, people started to call me Superguy.

I didn't really have a problem with the name, per se, but what I did have a problem with was the fact that no one had actually given me the name. I essentially gave it to myself. To me, that defeated the whole spirit of the nickname concept. Hell, if I was going to give myself a nickname I would just walk up to everyone, point my thumbs at myself and say, "Just call me Monster Cock, or MC if you want to keep it simple." It wouldn't matter that it wasn't true, but who would complain if one of your friends yelled that out in a bar.

After the Superguy debacle, I decided to forsake my need for another name, and up until recently it was going well. That takes us up to that recent discussion I was having with friends where we talked about the fact that none of us had ever had a name that stuck with us.

They kicked around the idea of calling me "Bird", because I'm so cheap, but I'm not a huge fan of it. So, at this point I continue to wait for the moment where a friend will come up to me and say, "Does G-Whiz work for you?"

Although with that name, all I have is an image of one of those Calvin and Hobbes rip off cartoons where the little boy is taking a leak on something. I guess in my case, he'd be pissing on a monitor, instead of a Ford or Chevy emblem. I just hope they remember to unplug it. MC can't risk hurting himself that way.


Post a Comment

<< Home