Coke and Fries

The 31st anniversary of my hatching is coming up in the next few days and I'm preparing for it as if it were any other day. It's gotten to the point now where I get about as excited about my birthdays as I do when I'm seeing a new ad on TV for Genital Herpes medication.

Sidenote: Who knew that having Herpes was so cool? It's like it's the new pink.

Sarah's a terrific woman and each year she approaches my birthday as if it was something worth being interested in.

"What would you like for your birthday this year?"

"Some dignity."

She didn't like that idea. Who couldn't use dignity? I'm very lacking when it comes to getting respect from others... so why not shoot for the moon.

Maybe I should just ask for new spoons. Everybody needs spoons.