Thursday, February 17, 2005

Learn the weave, then we'll talk

One of the things that I really wanted to be careful about when I had a child was to make sure that I didn't bore people with all of the details of the things that our daughter is doing.

One of my favorite comedians, David Cross, has a bit about how his friends go on and on about the little things that their child is doing, as if they are something amazing. (If you find his story about this, you'll get a bit of insight as to where the title of my blog came from.)

I can understand how some people fall into this trap though. My mother, for one, has already started talking to my sisters about how she thinks that Gaby is "advanced." Ok, just for the record, Gaby's almost 11 weeks old and about the only thing she can do (besides spit and poop) is to coo and move her legs very quickly. That's about it. But the fact that she "talks" when I "talk" back to her makes my mother think that she is some sort of prodigy. I love my mom, but seriously, Gaby can barely hold her head up half of the time. I'll start thinking that she's advanced when she walks over to the Nintendo, loads up Tecmo Super Bowl, hands me a controller, and proceeds to trounce my ass. I'll wait to pass my judgements on her "advanced" nature until then.

At this point though, I'm just happy that she's a cute kid. I half expected the baby from that Seinfeld episode that everyone can't stand to look at. Not that those looks would have come from her mother. Hell, I was a cute kid once, then apparently my parents let me drive the ugly car right into an ugly tree and didn't let me put on my ugly seatbelt. Now I look like "Jo-Jo, the monkey boy."

I almost thought she did something impressive the other day though. She was laying in her bassinet and was staring at her mobile. After a while, she swung her left arm and hit the mobile and made it move. When it stopped, she did it again. She repeated this a couple times. I was amazed by this. Hell, when I'm laying down flat on my back I can barely get myself out of bed without looking like some sort of flopping goldfish that fell out of it's bowl.

Of course she hasn't done it again since, but I have to say that I was impressed. More for the fact that she's teaching herself how to do so many things. It's truly an amazing thing to watch, seeing a child start to learn all of the things that you take for granted.

Now I just need to get a controller in her hands, because I have a feeling that she'll be taking me to school in no time. And I can't wait for that.


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