Monday, October 25, 2004


The woman sitting next to me just smiles and says, "That's why I have headphones."

Sadly, I only have my Gameboy SP for entertainment and can't use it for the first 10 to 15 minutes of the flight. Does anyone know why? Isn't it a bit sad to think that a multi-million dollar plane could possibly be rendered useless by little Johnny's 80-dollar game system? Or in this case little Glen. Not that I'm little in any way. Um... so where were we?

"Really? Why?" as her friend starts to mock her. He thinks it's funny that she keeps saying the same two words over and over whenever being asked a question, and starts to repeat the phrase in order to make fun of her.

I can see the amusement factor in such things. I've been known to do it from time to time. There is a rule of diminishing returns in comedy though. When someone does something once, you can mock him or her for it, sometimes twice. After the person has said something like that 10 plus times though, you're just beating a dead horse... and risking becoming one yourself, not a horse, but you get what I'm saying.

At this point, all I can think of doing is to pull a Samuel Jackson on them. "I double dare you! Say "Really? Why?" Again!"

Of course, I don't have a gun like he did in Pulp Fiction, I'm not really intimidating in any way, I'm not all that tall, I don't have a cool looking afro, and I'm white... but I think they'd get the point. Isn't that what really matters?

Thankfully she fell asleep shortly after we got into the air. I still maintain that the flight attendants may have spiked her drink, but it really didn't matter to me as to why she shut up, just that she did.

One of the worst things that can happen to you when flying is to be stuck in a middle seat. Sarah is at a point in her pregnancy where she needs to have an aisle seat. She's going to the bathroom every hour on the hour, if not more, and she's one of those people that doesn't like to inconvenience anyone, so she wants to sit where she doesn't have to bother anyone every time she gets up.

I'm the opposite. I love the window seat. I could have guzzled down 5 sodas/beers before getting on the plane and I'd fight for that seat. If I have to get up and bother you while you're trying to sleep or eat, it doesn't matter to me, just as long as I get to see things from 30,000 feet. Hell, it doesn't matter to me if it's cloudy over all of the United States; I just want something to look at out that window.

The worst thing though is getting stuck in the middle, which I was on this flight. The only person I would be annoying (more than usual) would be Sarah if I had to get up, and let me tell you something, annoying a pregnant woman is not something you want to go out of your way to do. If you follow the logic that a soon-to-be mother is eating for two, then you'd have a tendency to believe that they're bitching-for-two, if they're mad at you.

So, I did my best to just stay out of Sarah's way and just play my Gameboy and entertain myself by watching the Simpson, via brain Tivo. Thanks to my incredibly long attention span, those activities kept me busy for approximately 5 to 6 minutes.

Eventually, the plane touched down in Chicago, and we were able to escape Ms. "Really? Why?" forever. I will say this though, if you're ever sitting next to me on a plane and hear me utter those words, just take out the spork that you're giving with your in-flight snack and jab me repeatedly until I stop. Eventually I'll get the point.


Post a Comment

<< Home